


I Need You More Than I Have Ever Needed You

by Taterz_Tots



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-05 23:59:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18376754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taterz_Tots/pseuds/Taterz_Tots
Summary: They have both been dancing around the subject, but it’s always been there. Late night talks and passing touches, a look that would send their hearts racing. They were fools to never do anything about it before and the doctor tells him exactly that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lacemaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacemaze/gifts).



> um... Hi.. it's been a while, I know. but listen.. I have no excuse. Have this instead?
> 
>  
> 
> I blame [lacemaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacemaze/pseuds/lacemaze) and [blakesparkles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakesparkles/pseuds/blakesparkles) for this. Love ya dudes!

It’s a Wednesday.

 

A normal, insignificant date to anyone else, but not to Chase Brody.

 

This day was supposed to be a special one, this day was supposed to be his anniversary.

 

Everything was supposed to be great in his life, ‘ _til death do us part_  and all that crap. Today was supposed to be a happy day, but it wasn't. It was a normal Wednesday like any other and he had to go to work.

 

He fixes his tie in the mirror and puts on a smile, the brightest one he got – the fakest one—and heads to his job. A boring 9 to 5 in a stuffy office with people that love to pretend they care.

 

They all know there’s something wrong with Chase. They know his smile is fake, but no one will bring it up. They know better than to diminish his attempts at being happy, or at least at seeming like he is.

 

They talk among themselves at lunch and Chase tries to pretend he cares, just as they do. He hums in response, forcing out a laugh when he feels it needed, but it does nothing to quiet the ache.

 

They want him to be happy because he _deserves to be happy_ – or so they say—like it’s as simple as flipping a switch and serotonin will pour out his pores.

 

He wishes there was a switch, then he can at least pretend better.

 

Figures, something else he’s not good at.

 

He raises from his seat when the clock strikes 5, nothing less nothing more. He doesn't say goodbye, doesn't look back or responds when it's told to him either. He just wants to get back to his place, it’ll be better there he thinks. No facades to keep, no one to judge him.

 

It's not better. It’s lonely. He misses his family, his friends. He misses coming to a house full of people, the chaos, the laughter, the warmth.

 

He moved in with his best friend and their brother after the divorced. It was great, and sometimes he regrets moving out, but truth be told they weren’t kids anymore. They had jobs, lives, plans of their own. He couldn’t stay there, he knows that, but he still misses the what if.

 

His feet take him to the whiskey on autopilot and he downs a glass before starting dinner. A sad looking sandwich and some chips. He downs another glass after.

 

There’s nothing but silence in his small two-bedroom apartment. He kicks a rubber ball, left out of place days before, watching it bounce down the hall. His two kids visit every weekend, making noise and messes alike, his apartment feels alive then for the duration of their stay, but once they leave again the place turns back to the depressing shit hole it is today.

 

He grabs the bottle by the neck, taking a long swig directly from it before deciding on a shower. The annoying _plunk_ of the ball still echoes on the back of his head, it’s too loud in there and his throat burns for something stronger. He wants to forget.

 

He takes one last shot from the bottle and calls it pre-game, ordering a ride on his phone to take him to the nearest bar.

 

It’s louder in there. Not exactly the louder he wanted but his head is swimming and he welcomes the sea of noise, drowning his thoughts with a nicer buzz.

 

He loosens up more with each drink he takes and brags about his kids to strangers. A woman tries to flirt with him at some point too, and he scares her away when he tells her she reminds him of his bitch-ass ex-wife. Whatever, he wasn’t interested anyway.

 

He thinks of his friends again; his best friend would probably be calling him a fucking idiot by this point and they would be right. He laughs by himself and tells the bartender about those he loves when the man shoots him a look.

 

An asshole with a heart of gold, a mute cinnamon roll, an eccentric magician, a vigilante, and a doctor.

 

A doctor with a German accent, azure eyes behind square glasses, well combed graying brown hair and a snort in his laugh.

 

He went to the doctor when it happened, when his wife first threatened to leave him and he stupidly hurt himself. Mostly out of necessity, he could have died after all. But something about the man had him coming back.

 

When she filed for divorce, Chase didn't know who to turn to, didn't know what to do. He considered hurting himself again, maybe not failing this time, but the doctor was there when those thoughts came.

 

They connected, maybe not in the best way, but they were both divorced men now, both fathers. It was as good of a start for friendship as any.

 

He tells all this to the unsuspecting bartender, the poor man probably being used to hearing all kinds of sobs stories from drunk losers like him, but he listens and that’s good enough for Chase.

 

He talks about the doctor a lot while there, and when it’s time to go home he thinks about him too.

 

 

🔫

 

 

He slams his hand on the door once, twice, and waits a total of maybe 5 seconds before he’s slamming his hand against the door again.

 

It’s 2 am and Chase is wasted. He thinks this was a great idea, dropping by his friend’s house for a visit, and stands up straight with a proud grin plastered on his face.

 

When the door opens, he unashamedly sizes up the man by the threshold. The doctor he’s been thinking about all night.

 

His usual combed-back hair sticking up at different angles, and he’s wearing proper matching button up pajamas with slippers and everything. Chase giggles at the sight and calls him a dork.

 

The doctor squints his eyes at the boy on his porch, adjusting to the sudden artificial light without his glasses on, his German accent thicker in this still sleepy state he’s in.

 

“ _Was zur_... Chase? What’s going on? Did something happened?”

 

There’s clear concerned on the man’s voice and it does something to Chase’s heart. He thinks about what he said, what is he doing here? “I wanted to say hi”, he waves his hand and giggles, “hi”

 

“Wanted to... do you have any idea what time it is?” Chase raises a naked wrist to his face and frowns –wasn’t he wearing a watch? Wait, does he even own a watch? — “You’re drunk”.

 

Henrik is scolding him, and he doesn’t like the look he’s giving him now, concern all gone. He holds back a whimper, not wanting to cry but his emotions are quickly taking over him. He made him angry, that wasn’t his intention. Fuck. He messed this up too, didn’t he?

 

“Y-You said once your door was always open f-for me—” he sobs— “as a friend and not a doctor, I thought, I thought I could... I j-just wanted to say hi” he swipes at the escaping tears rolling down his cheeks. This is so stupid. Why did he have to come here?

 

Henrik flinches, watching him cry dumbfounded before embracing him, knocking his hat off his head in the process, and without hesitation, Chase crumbles in his arms. The man supports his head, tangling his hand in the unkept yellowish-green mess that is Chase’s hair, whispering an apology to his ear.

 

They’re a mess. Crying and apologizing out in the cold of the night. Everything happened so fast, neither of them knows how exactly they ended up this way.

 

Henrik leads him inside and they stumble to the couch, falling on top of each other. The boy babbles on between hitched breath there, arms lose around the man’s waist. “I’m sorry” he whispers, and the doctor’s gaze falls on his lips, watching them move with each word. “They said I had to go home, and your face was all I could see”.

 

Henrik hides his face on the crook of his neck and apologizes. It’s way too late and he had a rough day at work, he’s grumpy.

 

Chase laughs at that and calls him a dork again, a grumpy dork. The doctor slaps his shoulder playfully in retaliation, supporting himself upon his chest. He examines the younger man’s face, up close now, and his smile fades as he traces the dark bags under his eyes, cleaning the tears there, caressing his freckled cheeks.

 

It’s quite then, just the sound of their breathing, but this time the silence isn’t as suffocating as before. It’s comfortable, accepted.

 

They hold each other close and without hesitation Chase moves forward, fresh tears leaving his eyes when their lips connect. He sighs, relieved the doctor is returning the kiss, and they move their heads slowly in sync for a moment. Henrik tastes the alcohol on the boy’s tongue, and Chase whimpers when the man breaks the kiss then.

 

“Don’t leave me” he sobs, “you’re all I have left, Henry, don’t leave me please”

 

Chase hugs him closer, capturing his lips once more. He keeps telling him not to leave, and they kiss there until they're breathless, with knitted eyebrows and too many emotions.

 

Henrik holds his face and pecks his lips over and over. “It’s ok,” he says, “ _mein_ _liebling_ , it’s ok, I’m not going anywhere”

 

He kisses his forehead, swiping at his eyes once more and pulls him up and off the couch with him. He guides them to his bedroom and Chase collapses there on his bed, wiggling out of his boots and pants. The doctor joins him and he clings to his side immediately, head on his chest and arm across his stomach. Henrik plays with his hair; the rhythm of his heartbeat calms his thoughts and lulls him to sleep.

 

 

💉

 

 

When Chase opens his eyes again, he groans at the bright numbers blaring at him in the dark. The digital clock tells him it’s barely 5 am, and he’s been asleep for about three hours.

 

He’s unceremoniously draped over Henrik’s body and there’s a blanket haphazardly thrown over them. He feels like his skin is on fire and there’s an uncomfortable pressure somewhere below his navel, as well as a tightness on his temples and above the eyebrows.

 

He makes it to the bathroom reluctantly, almost dragging, and empties his bladder to relieve the pressure. He scratches his belly and washes his hands afterward glaring at his reflection in the mirror. He’s a mess. Still drunk, with eyes puffy and red, and an ache in his, _everywhere_.

 

He takes his shirt off before getting back in bed, skin still feeling too hot, but when Henrik wraps his arm around him in his sleep, warm and comforting, he welcomes it like a lifeline.

 

He’ll think about what this, and everything they’ve done, means later when his body isn’t plotting against him and his brain can make coherent thoughts again.

 

For now, he’ll enjoy the rise and fall of the doctor’s chest underneath his head and the way their bodies fit perfectly like they were meant to be.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Chase vaguely remembers the doctor asking about his lack of shirt at some point and the boy mumbles he was hot and needed to pee as an answer. He blinks, and the man is gone.

 

He sits up in bed with a jump, regretting it immediately. His head throbs, and he pushes the heel of his palm into his eyes until seeing colorful spots. It doesn't help.

 

It still too early, he thinks laying back down on the pillow. It’s not as comfortable or warm as Henrik and he misses the man. He remembers how it felt to be in his arms, to kiss him. Fuck, that was so good. He brings a hand to his lips, slowly tracing them. He closes his eyes and lets the hand fall to his side with a sigh. Feelings are a complicated thing, aren’t they?

 

He groans, looking around the room and confirming he is in fact alone in there. He finds his belongings –phone, wallet, keys— on the side table, his hat on top of the digital clock conveniently covering the time. His clothes are neatly folded by the foot of the bed and there’s a note on top of them.

 

_Your clothes smelled like bar. I fixed it. You’re welcome. There’s aspirin in the bathroom cabinet if you need it and clean underwear on the top drawer of my dresser if you want it. I'm making pancakes come join when you're ready. - Henrik_

 

Chase huffs, grabbing his shirt and bringing it up to his nose. It smells like fabric softener, and he shakes his head not believing this man. He washed his clothes. Un-believable.

 

He shuffles out of bed and into the bathroom with his clothes, avoiding the mirror on his way in.

 

He lets hot water run for a while, just standing underneath it until his skin is too red. And when it’s time to, he uses products that smell like the doctor.

 

It's comforting, even after a good scrub and wearing his now clean clothes, the ghost of the man’s touch still lingers on him and he finds himself smiling while smelling the collar of his shirt in the mirror.

 

And somehow, he doesn’t think he needs those aspirins anymore. He does brush his teeth, however. He needs that.

 

 

🔫

 

 

A cup of coffee is placed before him as he sits by the white marble island in the kitchen. The doctor smiles brightly and Chase mumbles a _thank you_ before bringing it to his lips and taking a small sip.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m… good? Better now I guess” he huffs, watching Henrik move around his kitchen. He scans some of the ingredients scatter around, way too many for the promised breakfast, “are you sure you’re just making pancakes or feeding an army?”

 

Henrik gives him that laugh, the one with the little snort, and plates the last of the food. “I can do both”, he tells him as he walks towards the adjacent room, the dining room, motioning for the green haired boy to follow.

 

There are two places set at each end of the eating table, and between the two, the pancakes, as well as some bacon and scrambled eggs. In the middle of it all, a glass carafe filled with orange juice and another with coffee. Sugar, milk, syrup, and an array of fresh berries all in fancy ceramic dishes, too.

 

Chase stares, agape, it looks like a scene from some fancy movie. “how... this must have taken you forever, Hen. What time did you wake up to make all this?”

 

“5 am”

 

”liar, that’s the time _I_ woke up to pee”

 

”yes, I know, _you_ woke me up”

 

”oh”

 

The doctor has a cocky smile on, like he just won some sort of argument and Chase wants nothing more than to wipe it off his face but he pushes that thought down for now, listening to the man explain he didn’t spend his whole morning cooking, and telling him to not make a fuss about it, everything’s fine.

 

“No, you didn’t spend all morning cooking, you did the laundry too”, Chase mumbles to himself, but he knows the man heard him. Quick, save it. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work today?”

 

“I called”, it's all he offers about that, then quickly adds with a smirk, “called your job too, as your doctor of course”

 

Chase stares, and something in his chest twist. This man. Between quips and banter this unbelievable man has done more for him in less than 8 hours than he has done for himself in, well, a while. He doesn't know how to handle this. “you didn't need to do any of that, you know”

 

“I know”, he says matter-of-factly, taking the seat closest to him and points at the other place set for Chase to do the same.

 

 

💉

 

 

They eat in silence, stealing glances and hiding behind their cups. Henrik doesn't bring up anything that has happened so far and, honestly, Chase doesn't know if that’s better or worse.

 

They take the dirty dishes to the sink when they’re done, clearing the table, and together they work on getting everything clean. He opens his mouth a couple of times, finally willing himself to talk first, but nothing comes up and he closes it again. Henrik watches him, silently, giving him the time to sort his thoughts out but after the third time of this opening and closing, he clears his throat and speaks.

 

“What’s on your mind?” Chase does a pretty good impression of a fish then, fumbling with the plate in his hand, and the doctor huffs at him, “I can see you want to say something, I can practically hear you thinking, spit it out”

 

Chase pouts, his lower lip sticking out as he puts the last of the dinning wear back in its place. Once he’s done, he reaches for his hat, to keep his hands busy, and remembers he’s not wearing it, it’s on the side table in the room with the rest of his things. Shit.

 

He shoves his hands in his pockets, not knowing what to do with them, and stares at the man’s shoes. To be honest, he was expecting some high-end fancy dress shoes, but the simple white Vans he finds instead make the corner of his lips rise. His eyes travel up then, slowly taking in the view in front of him. The doctor is in a nice pair of jeans, a comfortable fit, hugging all the right places, a light blue sweater tucked by the belt, and the collar of what he assumes is a white button-down shirt poking from the top. He looks good, comfortable, casual but still professional.

 

He lets his eyes roam a bit more, reaching the man’s face. A well-kept beard and mustache around full pink lips, glasses resting on the bridge of a slightly crooked nose, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes.

 

Henrik is closer now, too, Chase being too busy drinking him in to even notice him move. The doctor’s hand goes up to his forehead, pushing away some unruly hair away from it and he smiles, tugging the strands behind his ear, “what’s on your mind, _mein liebling?_ ”

 

His hand lingers, for a second or two, before he pulls away and Chase tries to keep the whine down in his throat, already missing the contact. God, he’s so touch-starved, it’s pathetic.

 

He struggles a bit to compose himself, stuttering out the first thing that came to mind.

 

“What does that mean, _l_ _ _i_ plin_? I heard you say it last night too”

 

“It means darling, _mein liebling_ ”

 

Chase knew what _mein_ meant, he wasn’t that much of an idiot. Mine. Henrik was calling him _My Darling_. His. Fuck. Did he know? He must know. He can’t be imagining any of this.

 

“I-I thought I must’ve had been really drunk, and that’s why I didn’t understand you, but you had just been speaking German huh”

 

“I was speaking German, yes” he agrees, then adds with a grin “but you were still very drunk too”

 

He rolls his eyes and pretends to be annoyed, but the smile on his lips says otherwise. It stays there and grows bigger as Henrik’s hand goes back to his hair, moving the strand he placed behind his ear back in place after it had fallen again. He huffs when the hair refuses to stay there and Chase holds his hand to stop him from going back to it, he tells him to give up, the hair is a rebel and doesn’t listen to him either, it makes the doctor laugh.

 

The young father stares at their hands still joined, and Henrik squeezes them reassuringly, interwinding their fingers instead of letting go. The closeness sends shivers down Chase’s spine, and he swallows down the lump in his throat, taking another step forward himself.

 

They’re mere inches away from each other, the doctor’s gaze falling on his lips, as he wets them before talking. “Thank you,” he says, “you didn’t have to do any of this, you could have ignored the door, and avoid dealing with my drunk ass. You wouldn’t have had to tuck me in and make me breakfast, you didn’t have to miss work for me, Hen. But you did. You opened the door, you let me in”.

 

Henrik nods, his free hand going up to his hip, caressing the skin there through his shirt. He releases their intertwined hands and brings it up to cup his face, leaning forward to brush their lips together, making Chase gasp. They look into each other’s eyes before Chase moves again connecting their lips in a proper kiss. It’s soft, and quick, both testing the waters. The doctor smiles when they part, and he tells him in a hushed voice that he’s glad the man came to him.

 

Chase kisses him again, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, hands up in his hair pulling him impossibly closer. Their lips make sweet wet sounds with each movement, and they tilt their heads to deepen it.

 

Henrik takes control, walking them back against the wall, swallowing the boy’s moan as he pins him there. The hand on his hip dips inside his shirt and roams the side of his body eliciting another surprise gasp from Chase.

 

They kiss slow and deliberately, sucking on each other’s tongues and biting lips. Henrik moves down his jaw and neck, kissing him there too. He tells him he’s been wanting to do that for a while now, kiss him, and Chase huffs, blushing.

 

They have both been dancing around the subject, but it’s always been there. Late night talks and passing touches, a look that would send their hearts racing. They were fools to never do anything about it before and the doctor tells him exactly that.

 

“I’m sorry,” the boy whispers between them, fixing the glasses on the brown-haired man’s face, askew from kissing him, “is it too late to tell you I really like you? Because I do, Hen. I really do.”

 

He gains some courage from Henrik’s responding smile and carries on with new found confidence. He creates some space between them with a hand on the man’s chest, and with a deep breath spills his heart out.

 

“I like, the way you look at me, the way you speak to me like I’m a real person and not some child that can’t take care of himself, even when sometimes I am that child. I like knowing you'll be there when I need you, and God knows I need you. I feel —I am— sad and-and pathetic, but when I think of you, when I’m with you I feel better, I feel happy, and I need that. I need you. I need you more than I have ever needed you... I know it’s a lot to ask, I know I’m not... I probably don’t deserve it but, shit, I want it. I want this so fucking bad.”

 

Henrik frames his face with both hands and smiles, “You have me”, he says kissing his nose. “I’m here,” he repeats like a mantra, peppering kisses to his face. Chase tries to interrupt him, tells him he’s not worth it, and Henrik shuts him up with a kiss. It’s different, this time, it’s hard and rough, but also soft and caring. It tells him something.

 

It tells him he’s wrong. He is none of those things. It tells him its ok to be sad. It tells him he is worth it and deserving. It tells him he is stronger than he thinks.

 

It’s the warm breath on his lips that tells him it’s more than just a kiss speaking. It’s Henrik. The man whispers all this between kisses and Chase didn’t even realize he was still talking, too caught up in the emotions.

 

“You know me, Chase, you trust me, isn’t that why you came here?” he asks, kissing the new tears away. “I’m not going to talk pretty to you just for the sake of it, you know that’s not who I am. You’ve trusted me this far, trust me on this too”.

 

Chase sobs, but he smiles and nods. He knows this is true, Henrik doesn’t lie, not to him. He knows the man will call him out on his bullshit if he has to.

 

He trusts him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summary AND title, in the same chapter?! What is this madness.
> 
> I apologize for the weird ending on this one, but I felt like it needed to end there for.. reasons.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the support. I appreciate it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be out by Friday... I'm sorry for the delay.  
> I'm very proud of this one, so I really do hope you guys like it too.
> 
>  
> 
> warning: Sexual content, masturbation, fingering, anal sex.

 

They stand with their foreheads connected against that kitchen wall and Chase attempts a laugh, embarrassed, apologizing to the doctor for killing the mood.

 

“The mood can be whatever you want it to be”, Henrik tells him, smiling softly as he cleans all traces of tears. “Would you like the watch a movie, play a board game? Whatever you want my dear”

 

Chase stares, thinking about all of it. Henrik is not mad at him, he’s not upset that nothing could happen and that shocks him a bit.

 

Henrik takes a step back and drops his arms, giving him space. He smiles, taking his hand and points at the living room area with his chin. Oh God, Chase is going to cry again.

 

He shakes his head and asks the man to give him a second while he gathers his thoughts. The doctor nods, but when he tries to let go of his hand Chase squeezes it harder.

 

“I…” Henrik waits, patience as ever, and he tries again. “I told you already, I do want this…” he stares at their hands and thinks really hard about what he’s about to say, finally deciding to just get it over with and say it. Like ripping off a bandaid.

 

“I’veneverbeenwithanothermanbefore”

 

Henrik tilts his head, a smile on his lips as he asks the man to repeat himself, “and breath this time”

 

Chase groans, but he does as he’s told, taking a deep breath. “I’ve… never… been with a, um, a man before”, it feels strangely liberating, way better than just blurting it out like a crazy person. He takes another breath, and continues, reassured by the pressure on his hand. “I’m not good at this, Hen. I don’t know what to do, but… I want it. I do. I want you to fuck me so hard right now”

 

The smile on the doctor’s lip drops, and Chase swears he hears him growl. He stares at the boy, pupils too big, and his hands find their place on his hips once more.

 

“Are you sure?” he asks in a voice that doesn't sound his own, too low, strained, as if holding the urge to push him against that stupid wall and take him. He might as well be if the way his hands grip Chase’s sides harder when he nods is any indication to go by. He can feel the bruises forming and it does something to him.

 

Henrik sucks in a breath and buries his head on the crook of his neck, lips brushing against his skin when he speaks. “ _heilige Scheiße_ , Chase, you cannot say things like that to me”. He huffs, planting an open mouth kiss to the back of his ears, before asking again if he’s sure this is what he wants.

 

He continues kissing him there, making his soft laugh turn into moans. ”yes, Henrik I’m good. I’m so good right now, I just wanna feel you”. He feels a particularly hard bite and arches his back just letting the words fall off his tongue without any shame. “I wanna feel you inside of me, Henrik, C'mon, fuck me”

 

This time the man does push him against the wall and kisses him hard on the mouth. “I’m going to ruin you”

 

“Good, you’ve been far too nice to me today”

 

They stare at each other with glassy eyes, both breathing a bit too hard. Henrik looks like he’s having a hard time keeping his hands to himself and he asks again, without words this time, if he’s sure about this and Chase nods.

 

Their hands are sweaty, sticky, but the boy can’t help but smile while looking at their now intertwined fingers.

 

They walk back to the bedroom in silence, except for the sound of his too fast beating heart on his ears.

 

He’s not nervous though, he feels like he should be, but he’s not.

 

Standing in front of the doctor, he’s not nervous. He’s excited.

 

They keep eye contact as Chase tugs on Henrik’s sweater, pulling it loose from where it had been neatly tucked behind his belt. He drags it up, and the taller man helps him get it over his head and onto the floor.

 

He loosens the dress shirt too and focuses on unbuttoning it, starting from the bottom, up. He works on each button quietly, feeling those blue eyes still on him even when his own are now on the garment. He pushes the fabric off his shoulders when he’s done and watches it fall on the floor by their feet.

 

Henrik is a few inches taller and slimmer than him, that has never bothered him before, but in this moment, knowing full well what is about to happen, Chase is reminded of all his imperfections. The extra pounds spilling out his sides, the scars adorning his body. It's not pretty.

 

The doctor sees the change, the worry now on his face, and takes his hand in his. He brings it up to his cheek, and leans into the touch, turning to kiss his open palm. It makes the boy smile.

 

Chase holds him there and is the German who makes a move next. “I know what you’re thinking,” he says, mere inches away from his face, “you’re beautiful, you’re worth it, and I can’t wait to make you mine, _mein liebling_ ”

 

He sighs when their lips connect, hugging the doctor and feeling his hands roaming everywhere while working on taking his shirt off too.

 

They kiss slowly, tasting each other and Henrik swallows down the boy’s moans when his hands go down to his pants. He feels his body around the hem of the jeans, teasingly, and Chase casually mentions against his lips he’s not wearing any underwear. Henrik pulls apart, raising an amused eyebrow and the boy’s face goes red as he explains himself.

 

“to be fair, I didn’t actually plan to do this with you today, and going through your underwear drawer just seemed like an unnecessary invasion of privacy if you ask me”

 

Henrik shakes his head at him, a smile on his lips, “you’re unbelievable”.

 

Chase shrugs. Really, he wasn’t planning any of this, but he isn’t complaining that is happening either, especially when the doctor looks at him with that softness and care in his eyes. He feels, wanted.

 

He feels his ass being squeezed, and huffs, letting the man manhandle him for a bit. He’s being lifted and placed in bed softly with the doctor hovering over him.

 

The man asks him what he would like to do now, and Chase grins, wiggling out of his jeans, much like he had the night before on this same bed. He was drunk then, though, and there wasn’t a handsome man looking down at his erection with lust in his eyes.

 

Oh, there’s that nervousness settling in now, or maybe it’s the hand caressing his thighs making his heart beat faster. Maybe is the feeling of nails digging into his skin making his breath hitch.

 

The hand moves, and he holds back a whine, watching Henrik leave the bed. He panics for a second, thinking he did something wrong but the doctor smiles at him, by the foot of the bed, making a bit of a show in removing his own jeans and shoes.

 

Chase bites his lips, smiling, and his dick twitches at the sight. He never thought this would happen, he never thought he could have Henrik like this, moving around his room ass naked for him. It does something to his heart, something he’s only felt once before but it ended up badly. He shakes his head, not wanting to think about that right now and the doctor asks him if he’s alright when climbing back on the bed.

 

He smiles, eyes turning into half moons, and a bubbly laugh leaves his lips the more he stares at the man. It’s not funny, there’s nothing funny about the situation. They’re both naked, and hard, god, he’s so hard and his dick hasn’t gotten any attention yet, but fuck he’s happy.

 

Henrik calls him silly, holding his sides, and he leans down to kiss him with a smile on his own lips. They are happy, both of them. There’s a weight lifted off their shoulders, finally doing something about these bottled up feelings.

 

They kiss and touch, hands in hairs, and swallowed moans. They thrust against each other, the contact teasingly delicious. Chase needs more.

 

He arches his back, feeling fingers wrap around his cock, and he curses when the man moves his hand. The doctor kisses his neck, whispering sweet nothings against his skin while jerking him and Chase sobs, thrusting with each movement.

 

Henrik reaches for the bedside table with his free hand, digging around the drawer and fishing out a small bottle of lube and a condom.

 

He tells Chase everything he’s going to do and praises him when the boy bends his legs and lifts his hips for him.

 

The doctor kisses the marred skin on his temple, reaching down to his asshole with lube fingers, and Chase gasps at the new intrusion. He knits his eyebrows, and the doctor kisses his cheek telling him how good he’s doing.

 

It doesn't take long for him to get used to it, though, rocking back to get more, and he mewls when there’s a second finger stretching him open.

 

Henrik bends his fingers inside of him and he throws his head back in a silent scream. He kisses his temple again, removing his fingers, and opens the condom next to them.

 

Chase reaches for his hand, and they intertwine their fingers as the doctor slowly penetrates him.

 

The doctor curses in German, and Chase huffs, cupping his face and bringing him down for a kiss.

 

Henrik asks him if he’s alright and Chase nods with a smile, kissing his nose and cheeks. The doctor buries his face in the crook of his neck, humming, and he gives an experimental thrust. It’s Chase’s turn to curse now.

 

They move slowly and deliberately, knuckles white and sweat dripping. The sound of hot breath, moans, and skin slapping filling the room.

 

Chase asks for more and Henrik adjust their position, sitting on his knees and lifting his legs up to rest on his shoulders. He quickens his pace, going deeper like this, and watching Chase fall apart in his hands.

 

The boy screams his name when he comes, spilling white all over his own stomach. Henrik kisses his forehead, bending, and follows him after a few more thrusts.

 

They kiss slowly, calming down their hearts with smiles on their lips. Everything is sticky and sweaty, Henrik even mentions the word ‘unsanitary’ at some point, but neither of them moves for a while, just feeling each other like this. It’s, peaceful.

 

 

 

💉🔫

 

 

“Hey, Hen”

 

“hmmm”

 

They’re still in bed, but some time has passed now. Henrik helped him get clean afterward, and their cuddle section turned into a nap. They woke up at lunchtime with tummies rumbling.

 

Now they’re sitting in bed, leaning against each other with thai food in their hands, watching some medical drama on the doctor’s tv. He likes to point out everything the characters are doing wrong, it makes the boy smile.

 

“What happens now?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“With us —you, me— What happens now?”

 

“We live”, the man says, staring down at the half-empty container in his hands. “We live our lives, one day at a time”

 

Chase looks at him, with an arched eyebrow, and when the doctor doesn't elaborate he shrugs, resting his head on his shoulder. “You know, sometimes I don't understand a single word that comes out of your mouth, but it sounded nice... I’ll take it”.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. The last chapter... but. I miss them already. I miss my boys. So, I’m not done with them. Not yet. I might write a little epilogue for them later on, maybe here, maybe a separate one shot. Who knows, but for now. This one is done.
> 
> Now to the mushy stuff.. I really never expected this little fic of mine to do so well with so many of you. I appreciate the love so so much. Thank you <3

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](https://taterztots.tumblr.com/)


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